To my Dad at 80
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Dear Dad,
Today is your 80th birthday. Even though you’ve been gone for so long, I miss you like it was just yesterday. If you were here, there is so much I would share with you.
Every day I regret that you never met Ava and Wes. Ava is a spit fire, I think she would have been your favorite. I can picture you in my most vivid imagination tapping her in her opposite shoulder, tickling her, and teasing her. She looks just like me, but got all of Amy’s sass ;)
Wes would have worried you, he worries us all. Still his contagious laughter and giggle would have swept you up. I can see you out in a boat trying to fish, but having no luck because Wes and Ava cannot be quiet.
On the boat, Taylor is your man. Yup, “man”, I said. At 13 now, he has really grown into his own. He is tall (at least for us Massey’s) and only just beginning to grow. His voice has changed and his upper lip is covered in a fine peach fuzz. Taylor is quiet. He soaks in his surroundings and contemplates quietly in his time. I know how worried you were for him back when he was 1 and still quite sick. But all of that is past now. He likes to help us around the house, especially if it involves power tools.
I don't think Liv would surprise you too much. She works hard, does so well in school and loves to draw. She is funny and smart. You would believe that she was ever that tiny baby you met!
At 80, I would have preferred so much more for you here with us. Of course now there are so many of your loved ones with you on the other side. It seems selfish to wish you were still here. Yet I do.
Here is to being in a better place, even if it’s away from us.
Much love,
J
Happy Anniversary & solstice!
/This last year, marked with many changes and challenges, serves to remind us how much we are one. It serves to illustrate the power we employ and the strength we gained together. Every day wasn’t great, but every less great moment makes the potential greatness of every moment thereafter!
So marks the longest day of the year! One of the very best days of the year!
Ode to Dad
/Happy Fathers Day to the best father in this house!!!!
First photo as a Dad
There were so many more photos that illustrate what an amazing Dad you are, but I had to narrow it down to a few. None of these illustrate all the other hats you wear, thanks for being the best partner, plumber, grocer, launderer, spouse, father (etc) ever!
We love you to then ends of the world and back!
10K
/Goals are good. I started running again about two months ago. My goal, just to get out and do something. Maybe …. feel like I could run a 5K again without too much thought. This was a big deal for me. The day my Mom died I lost my will to do nearly everything. I have kids, some who really couldn’t understand what happened to Grandma (One who still doesn’t). So getting all broken was never an option. I went through all the motions, but numb to everything. On the first anniversary of her death, I had an honest out loud conversation with her, with myself, and gave myself permission to move on. No more tears, no more fog, no more numbing pain. Time to take back my life because I am alive. No more reason needed right?
This was fine and good, except that I didn’t even realize how much I had let go of. I stopped thinking about my mom every moment, I stopped rethinking her last two months, last week, last day. I didn’t even know to look for other broken stuff.
When we moved I had to accept a night shift position. I had to figure out where to get the kids follow up care, how to navigate a whole world of new terrain… including where to buy clothes and groceries… so much required my attention and time. I didn’t have any more to worry about my own physical body. I ran a few times in the first couple months and when we moved to the second house, we joined a gym. Initially I went a lot, but warmer weather noticed me outdoors and I got out of the routine. I can’t even remember why I stopped running outdoors, probably an injury and figuring out how to do it with my schedule. Probably so many things.
They don’t matter anymore. I have a plan now, I have been doing it for 2 months (and injured myself too) and I’m running a 10K in June. I’m not trying to do it fast, I’m just going to run it and finish- for me.
New Construction
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After 8 years on Blogger, Jon and I have decided to move to our own web address... yikes, I hate learning a new system... yet I kind of love it at the same time! If you read my blog on a regular basis (Well as regularly as I post anyway) then stay tuned for the new address. We hope to be up and running in the next couple of weeks...
We are also planning to combine our Photography portfolio into the same site since we haven't been doing a lot of work outside of friends and family. Exciting things coming!
Dad n Me
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Wes has been such a Daddy's boy recently!
Happy Mother's Day
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I had a great Mother's Day! I woke up on my own accord... which always makes for a great day! My husband and two eldest children were hard at work concocting something amazing in the kitchen... turned out to be omelets, chocolate dipped strawberries, carmel and pecan glazed cinnamon rolls, and mimosas. Yummy!
Then I got hand made cards and pictures from my children. This was one of my favorites... from Taylor:
It says: "Deer mom I love you becuase you are wendrful."
I love being Wendrful!
Taylor also made me an awesome painted washer necklace on twin. Very easy on the neck :)
And there were flowers... I love having flowers on my table!
Later we went outside and took photos for a project that I dreamed up for Kay. I created graphics using the kids names to spell out the word "LOVE". Jon and I thought it was pretty cool that we could do that with our kid's names. So we took the photos, edited them and had them printed. Then we had a four photo frame where we put each child with their letter in a frame and spelled love. But I liked the photo above so much that we also had that one printed!
Then we spent the rest of the evening cooking delicious food at Kay's... and I ate way too much... :( But it was so good!
My World
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This is how I feel today. Getting up at 4:30 in the morning is not my thing. Last night I slept really poorly, and then I woke up with a crick in my neck. Maybe its because there was so much to do or so many hours of work or just a new routine... probably all these things...
But I am just so tired today! :(
Photos on todays post are courtesy of Alivya.
Throwback Wednesday
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