I did a thing today!

I never imagined myself being excited to get a shot on Christmas Day, but it is 2020. A year like none other. My number was picked as I was able to step off the unit and receive the Pfizer vaccine.

More than once in the last week I have shed tears over this moment. The weight of this time, the pandemic, the death-suffering-loneliness, all of it has started feel pretty hefty. In my few moments of quiet, sometimes it just overtakes me.
I mourn many things… the loss of everyday life, my kids graduations from middle and elementary school, vacations, visits from family and friends, a feeling of safety and security, feeling valued in my work, connecting with my patients in the moments when it really matters in the close human way that my work requires at times, dining out, the quiet of my house when the kids are at school and Jon is on a run, the tidiness my house once had when it sat at 1/3 capacity 2/3rds of the day, the laughter of my kids on the playground or socializing with friends, meandering in a store just to linger a little longer, the joy on Wes’ face when we went to a mall with an escalator or rode the Max… so many things.

This little thing I did today (which is making me tired, sore, and a bit woozy) is the beginning. It is a gift of science and exhaustive hours of hard work. I want to take a moment to let sink in the full meaning of this moment.

I know that there is a lot of hard work still to do. Tomorrow I will see more COVID positive moms and try to help them give some immunity to their babies, but I get to do it knowing that my body is hard at work trying to build some protection for me too.

Best Christmas miracle ever!

Merry Christmas 🎄!!